Help Emerging Leaders to Say No to Negative Self-Talk

 “Watch your thoughts by sharpening your self-listening skills to become aware of negative self-talk.” ~ Danita Bye

After reading one of my favorite books, Waking the Dead , I listed all the lies I believed about myself. I was shocked as the lies kept pouring from my pen.I had seven pages of lies! I could hardly believe the lies I wrote:

• I’m too short.
• I’m too fat.
• I’m not smart
• I’m not funny.

Second Action Step to Sharpen Self-Listening

Say No to Negative Self-Talk. Help future leaders watch their thoughts with diligence.

As you counsel and coach Emerging Leaders, invite them to complete the questions below to exercise their self-listening skills. This will help them expose the lies and negative self-talk that are sabotaging their leadership potential.

• I would be more effective if I wasn’t so _________
• I would achieve more if I didn’t have to deal with _____________
• I’m afraid to ____________
• I’m not inspired enough to _______________

What lies did they uncover? They can use my 4-Step Lie Buster process to help banish these lies from their thoughts.

1.  Identify the lies:

Encourage Emerging Leaders to jot down everything they think might be a lie and invite them to have group discussions with colleagues and mentors in a safe environment about their lists.

2.  Recognize the destructive impact of these lies:

Seeing the lies on paper in black & white is shocking.  Confidently share your own experiences to illustrate how lies might sabotage dreams and prevent them from being all they might be.

3.  Break the lies:

You may think I’m crazy, but I literally rip the lies apart. I write the lie on a piece of paper, read it and say out loud: “This is a lie.” Then I tear the paper into small pieces, as a physical reminder that I have broken the lies and their control over me.  Share your own ideas on how you deal with the lies in your life and encourage them to come up with creative ideas of their own to do the same.

4. Determine truth:

Complete the process by reminding them to write a truth statement about every lie they expose and display it in a place where they see it daily…maybe a couple of times per day, depending on how debilitating the lie is.  I write it on a 3×5 card and review it during my morning exercise routine.  For example:  the “I’m too- short- & fat lie” is in direct contrast to “I’m fearfully and wonderfully made.”

Here’s what’s amazing…we have the power to decide, “I want truth to rule my life, not lies.”  Call future leaders to action to break the power of lies today so they might advance your business growth and succession strategies with renewed confidence in their talents and skills.

In the next post I’ll tell you why we want to invite Next Gen leaders to set their own personal, career, and life goals.

Want to read this series from the beginning?  Go here.

Dakota Way Leadership question:  What are you doing to help Next Gen Leaders uncover the lies they believe about themselves?

Dakota Way Leadership lesson:  Be proactive in identifying negative self-talk.

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